How to transform your inner dialogue into uplifting thoughts
Aktualisiert: Apr 16
Have you ever had the feeling you get too hard on yourself? Are you annoyed about not reaching your goals, missed opportunities and procrastinated tasks? Your inner critic awakens and you say words to yourself that you wouldn't even say to others? In this article you will learn a simple and effective technique for eliminating your negative inner dialogue and creating space for new, uplifting thoughts and beliefs.
Studies show that negative self-talk is associated with increased stress and depression. Your mind does what it thinks you want it to do.
The way you feel, and the way your mind reacts to situations is the result of two simple things: The images you make in your head and the words you say to yourself. You are the image of the stories you tell yourself.
"You are the image of the stories you tell yourself"
How to transform negative Self-Talk?
It should not be the goal to bring the inner critic down completely. A little self-criticism can be quite good, as a simple reality check that can make you be a better person. However, there is a big difference between "I need to train more to get fitter" or statements like "I'm not good enough" or "I'm too weak". Intrapersonal communication (the jargon for self-talk) in a positive and constructive way can push you forward towards your goals.
But if you go down because you haven't managed something, you're still not the person you want to be, and you think you're not good enough, it can be very stressful in a long run. Not only for you, but also your environment, your spouse, your friends, the people you love.
That is why it is important to interrupt this destructive pattern immediately when you recognize it and transform your self-talk.
The Marilyn Monroe - Method
For a moment, remember your last inner dialogue, one you weren't so nice to yourself. Maybe you don't find it hard to bring one in mind and you hear saying these unsightly words to yourself now.
Pay attention to the way you speak to yourself. Harsh, mean, angry, tearful?
Let's take this as an example: You scream at yourself with an angry voice and a grim face: "YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT".
That doesn't feel good, does it?
Here is how to deal with it. Try the following. Pull up the corners of your mouth (smile) and say that sentence again. What do you perceive? Something different, isn't it?
Now imagine someone whose voice you really, and I mean really really find sexy. Marilyn Monroe, for example, when she sang "Happy Birthday Mr. President". Bring Marilyn's voice and tonality into your mind (here's the LINK to the Youtube-Video).
With exactly this voice and tonality, along with the raised corners of your mouth, let your inner Marilyn Monroe say this sentence: "I'm such an idiot".
Doesn't it feel completely different?
Not only voice and tonaliy, but also the words themselves have their effect and for that you can easily imagine a volume control with which you can turn down your inner dialogue slowly or faster until it is completely switched off.
If you find men's voices sexy, of course it works just as well.
How your Breath can change your thoughts
Now that your inner dialogue is switched off, you can create new uplifting thoughts and beliefs. This can be achieved by taking a deep breath. We strongly underestimate the power of the breath.
It not only keeps the mind and the body in top form but can also lower blood pressure, promote a sense of calm and relaxation and help us to reduce stress. He will be with us for life.
"We strongly underestimate the power of the breath"
Try this the next time you feel something coming up. Whether it is anxiety, anger against yourself or any kind of self-criticism. When you think thoughts like "I am not good enough to do this".
When you exhale, you let go of everything you don't want or need. This could be anger, fear, grief, etc. Notice your feelings. Pay attention to your senses how you perceive it. Imagine the blocking emotions and feelings that leave your body as grey smoke and dissolve into air as you exhale.
With a negative mind and limiting thoughts, no free and positive life can be led.
So let go of all the boundaries, let go of what stops you, with every exhale.
On the other hand, with every inhale, imagine you get everything you want. Everything that helps you to create the life you have always wanted. This could be patience, abundance, love, self-esteem, etc. As you imagine it, make the feeling that you have even stronger, twice as strong. Make the colours that you see more intense. Perhaps you hear, taste and smell something as you inhale all the ressources you want. Make them twice as strong and intense, again, until it's almost unbearable. Test yourself, as Dr. Richard Bandler, Co-Developer of NLP said, "how much pleasure can you stand?".
Finally, use your imagination and create a new phrase or belief that is more focused on what you really are and what you really want.
For example, it could be something like "I have the ability to develop excellent willpower. I can achieve great things, my focus is my gift".
The trick is not just saying it. You really want to live and experience it.
Close your eyes and go into your new belief. Literally, see it in front of your eyes.
Imagine a situation where you can identify with it and see what it really feels like. Listen to yourself saying your new belief.
This is just a small and brief example of how you can interrupt your destructive pattern. With a little practice, however, it is very effective and, above all, can be done anywhere.
So if you find yourself falling into negative self-talk again, breathe, let go and take what you need.
In order to really get rid of self-destructive thought-patterns in the long run, it is advisable to have a look at your beliefs, values, and goals.
Listen and observe
So many of us talk to themselves in such a self-destructive way and don't even realize how they limit and keep their life away from all the infinite possibilities it offers.
Feel into yourself every day for a moment, listen to yourself and observe your thoughts.
How often do you judge someone, something or even yourself? How often do you think in negative, and self-destructive patterns, influenced by things that happened in the past or created by the fear of the future?
These negative and limiting thoughts are not only pulling you down emotionally but also take away the positive energy, you could use to work on yourself, your mission and to get closer to your dreams and visions.
To sum up, be aware of your thoughts and breathe.
It all starts in your mind.